Holding on to you
by Yassmina
Summary: Sasuke's life was grey. It lacked colours. The bright joyful kind. But then Naruto happened in his life, and the grey in it was slowly receding back to near extinction. AU. SNS. Oneshot.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.**

 **A/N:** Something I wrote as a feel-good thingy for the sake of my broken self-esteem after my horrible physics grade. The teacher was too mean for putting such a hard test (è_é).

Anyway, this is a short _**SNS** -ish_ story I've written in one sitting. It definitely made me feel better.

Well, what can I say, hope this will be a pleasant read for you too ^^

* * *

 _ **Holding on to you**_

* * *

Sasuke never really thought much of his life.

Days went by, months, years. Changes were happening all around him.

Brother killed in a plane crash. Parents divorced. Mother getting his custody. Moving out of his childhood home.

People coming in and getting out of his bubble with no great lasting impact on his life. They were the hosts and he was the unimpressed guest.

But not much changed in him.

If anything he became more aloof, more detached from the real world. He was merely there, an empty soul carried in a body.

He simply existed.

xXx

The first time they ever shared a look, Sasuke felt something in him snap.

His blank look was no longer there. His eyes widened before they narrowed down as the swirl of anger shook his body.

He was angry. He was angry at himself for letting his guard down.

He was angry at himself for showing his weakness.

No one was allowed to know him. The real him.

 _are you okay?_

Three simple words that were meant to ask for his well-being.

Yet they did more harm than good.

Because the person asking was not inquiring about his physical health. They clearly aimed another part of him.

xXx

"I said leave me the fuck alone!" Sasuke screeched, his voice hoarse and strained. He couldn't remember the last time he lost his cool. He doubted he ever did, before this day that is.

He snarled, nails digging into his palms.

"I just want to be friends-"

"But I don't. So you better stay away from me!"

Sasuke let his feet carry him, racing the wind. His heart was throbbing in his throat, mouth dry and eyes wild.

He wasn't feeling right.

By the time he reached his house, he was wheezing, his breathing coming out in short pants.

 _"Sasuk…suke…'s wrong!?...asuke what's wro…"_

His hearing. Something was wrong with his hearing. And apparently his vision as well, as Mikoto's profile sorted itself in small discarded bits and pieces.

Then, like a light switch, darkness engulfed him in its depth.

He collapsed in his mother's arms.

xXx

Naruto was deeply disturbed by the fact that the boy hadn't come to school for a whole week.

Guilt was such a ruthless thing. Gnawing at his heart.

He should've never talked to him.

xXx

"Can you stand?"

Sasuke responded with a curt nod. Somehow even after hours upon hours of sleeping and resting, tiredness was something resilient and never left his bones.

His limbs felt heavy on his body. He could hardly raise his arm to rub his face.

He fucking hated those attacks.

He hated even more the person who triggered one of them a week ago.

But then panic shook his heart.

What if he tried to approach him again and made him go through the same agonizing experience?

Sasuke's eyes widened a fraction.

Fear…

He was afraid.

Such an unpleasant feeling.

xXx

Sasuke made sure to avoid him at all costs.

At the school gates, in the lockers, in the school hall. He avoided him like death.

Inevitably, their ways clashed.

Sasuke for a second felt his heart tremble violently in his chest. But then the feeling disappeared as soon as it surged up.

The look of pure intense relief in his eyes was unmistakable.

Naruto smiled. Not the mischievous, playful one he usually sported on his face.

Naruto's smile was warm, genuine and extremely alluring to the beholder. Sasuke was no exception.

But within mere seconds, the smile was gone.

And so was its owner.

xXx

This is what he wanted. This is what he really really wanted.

To be left alone and for his personal space to stay intact.

But Sasuke couldn't help the unpleasant feeling haunting his mind and heart.

No matter the times he thought the situation over, something still boggled him.

It was like an easy question in a quizz he knew the answer to, but each time he reached into his mind for it only blankness greeted him.

It was on the verge of his tongue, but he still couldn't get it out.

Or maybe he simply couldn't bring himself to acknowledge it.

xXx

Months went by, days coming with others leaving.

Great efforts enabled Sasuke to finally get a hold of his usual lifestyle.

But somehow, dare he say, he wanted to…change.

Even thinking about it stressed him out.

People never seemed to stick around. For that reason Sasuke never really got attached to anyone in particular.

But now that he saw that people were not all the same, he wanted to breach the thick walls cutting out his freedom.

Somehow the very frail light that shone through a crack in one of his walls made him greedy for more.

xXx

Ever since that day, Naruto never addressed him or ever looked his way.

Maybe he was too harsh with his words, Sasuke mused.

The concerned yet relieved smile that was directed to him was the light that elicited a rebellion inside his mind.

And now the new blooming part was having the upper hand.

xXx

Naruto was a popular student.

So popular it was turning into something troublesome for Sasuke.

He was almost never alone. Always surrounded by peers and classmates. And just when one day Sasuke thought he could finally get his chance, a pretty girl with pastel pink hair joined Naruto's side, blocking his attempts.

Sasuke shoulders slumped. He receded back to his corner.

xXx

Before he knew it, graduation ceremony was already on the doors.

Sasuke was missing chance after chance.

It wouldn't be long before all of his chances will drop down to none.

xXx

Reactions ranged from the slightest smiles to the extreme hard sobbing of graduating students.

Parents, grandparents, brothers, sisters, toddlers. All of them were present that day to witness one of the most important days of their relatives.

The overall tableau was truly a beautiful thing to behold. The air was charged with heavy thick emotions it could've almost been something tangible.

In the midst of it all Sasuke stood close to his teary eyed mother.

Mikoto passed delicately a finger under her eye ducts. She tried really hard not to embarrass her son with her tears and messy make up, but that was proving to be extremely hard for her.

Her baby son, who was no longer a baby, just completed an important stage of his life. Watching that happen was beyond overwhelming for her.

Sasuke's persona was brighter than usual. He was feeling happy.

Scratch that, he was feeling ecstatic, and that took the form of his widest smile to date. Without putting much thought in it, he stepped closer to his mother and embraced her petite frame.

He couldn't remember the last time they shared a hug. Probably since Itachi's death.

A very long time ago.

Sasuke felt something wet on his cheeks.

xXx

After his emotional episode, Sasuke walked up the school building for the last time to meet some of his teachers.

He wanted to grant them a last proper goodbye and thank them for their hard work.

But he also didn't want to leave just yet. Even though he suspected the other had already done so.

An unpleasant feeling blemished Sasuke's mood. He grimaced.

Oh well, at least he did try. Or so he thought.

Rounding down a corner, an all too familiar voice made him freeze in his place.

"Sasuke,"

The whisper was carried by the wind to his ear.

"Sasuke, I… I want to apologize," Naruto's face was contorted. As if he wanted to say something yet was finding it hard to do so. "Sasuke I'm really really sorry about the other day. I didn't want to make you feel umconfortable, I swear that wasn't my intention. You seemed like a fun, good but shy guy and I just wanted to be friends with you. I'm so sorry that I behaved like an inconsiderate asshole. I didn't want to finish my last year on bad terms with anyone, especially you,"

Naruto ended his short discourse with a deep intake of air. His facial expressions grew more worried at the lack of response from Sasuke's side.

Sasuke could only blink, not knowing how to take action from here. He opened his mouth, then closed it. Words danced haphazardly in his mind. He couldn't construct a coherent sentence.

Naruto looked hurt. His heart scrunched.

Gluing his eyes to the floor, he turned around and started walking out. He kept getting farther and farther away from Sasuke.

Meanwhile, in his inner monologue, Sasuke was scolding himself for not spurting a goddamn word.

He bit his lip nearly drawing out blood.

This was his very last chance. He wouldn't forgive himself if he missed it.

"N-Naruto, Naruto!"

He ran toward him, shrinking the distance between them.

With no deep thinking of this next step, Sasuke caught tightly Naruto by the wrist.

"Naruto w-wait," he stuttered, hands trembling.

Again his mouth was drying out. He was feeling dizzy.

 _shit_

A reassuring hand on his encouraged him to go on.

Naruto was again sporting the same relieved smile of the other day.

Sasuke's heart was put at ease.

And so with more confidence in his shaky voice, he resumed his talking.

"Naruto, I-I would really like to be your friend too,"

 _please._

* * *

 ** _The end._**

* * *

Thank you so much for reading! :)

(God it feels extremely weird for me not to write angst. I hope this was still a decent read.)


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